Diary Of An Arab Girl

update

2010-06-18T13:56:00.001+01:00

------>http://on-top-of-the-box.blogspot.com

2010-01-29T11:08:00.003Z

http://on-top-of-the-box.blogspot.com/

New post

2010-01-02T00:43:00.003Z

All my posts are in www.on-top-of-the-box.blogspot.com

New Blog

2009-10-19T12:56:00.004+01:00

Hey everyone! I moved out of my room, l moved out of my house, I moved out of my country and I moved out of this blog. Don’t worry, I’ moved to another blog. The reason is, when I really think about it I don’t see myself as an Arab girl. Please don’t misunderstand me I am an Arab girl, no I’m a proud Arab girl, I’m proud of being an Arab, I am proud of my Arabic language and I am proud of my religion. But the truth is I am not only an Arab. It is impossible to walk around with only half of your soul or half of your body. This is pretty much the same, I can’t walk around with half of my identity, I could but I refuse to. I am who I am because I am a Muslim, an Arab and a German. These three aspects form the way I live, believe and think.

So this is the link to my new blog, please check it out, and let me know what you think. It really encourages me to write when I know my chatter interests someone.

http://on-top-of-the-box.blogspot.com/

Off to London...

2009-09-19T19:08:00.007+01:00

Hey Guys,

I am so sorry I haven't written in ages, but the past week was crazy. I was working full time and getting ready for my studies in England at University of Exeter, which is meant to start next week, but apparently there was another plan for me. Two days ago I called the university to ask why I haven't received any information about my accommodation, the answer was "you don't have any accommodation", even though I paid the down-payment and booked the room. Even my accommodation was conformed to me by phone last week. I would have gone next week and would hear the news there, standing with my luggage at the door steps.

I was very devastated to hear this but now I think it is to the best, I'm not saying that the uni isn't good and I do think I would like it there, but it didn't work out. Anyway, for the past 3 year I wanted to go to London but some how we got to Exeter but now I am going to London. I'm going to Brunel Universit in London tonight.

I called Brunel the day before yesterday and they accepted us both my friend Zainab and I. Since Brunel are starting classes on Monday, I had to re-book and change all my plans so we are going tonight.

I planned my next 3 years in a matter of a few hours, and took spontaneous decisions that effect the next few years of my life. I am not normally like that and it is scary a little bit. But I have faith in god and I believe everything is to the best.

Anyway I have to get ready now, you will "read" from me from London.

P.S: Happy Eid to all and many happy returns for the coming year.

Laylat Al Qadar, night of decree

2009-09-09T18:46:00.009+01:00

Tonight is one of the nights of Al-Qadar, Layali Al-Qadar in Arabic. This is the night where the first verse of the Holy Qaran was introduced to Prophet Mohammed (Peace be upon him & his family). This night is so special for Muslims, because in our belief, in this very night the prayers and whishes of people are being heard, and that people who seek forgiveness are given a guiding hand. This night is a beautiful night to renew your faith and your strength in your religion.

This special night is spent with religious rituals such as praying, reading the Holy Quran, and reading Duaa (supplications), and ask help with health issues, money issues or any other issues that people are facing.

It is also preferred to do those special rituals in groups to strengthen one another. A lot of things in Islam are preferred in groups, we humans need people around us, some of us admit to it and others don’t, but the truth is we do. Sometimes we are surrounded by 1000 people and we still feel alone, and that feeling scares a lot of people so they ignore it because it is easier. Why shouldn’t we share everything that we can share? Even our faith, it makes it stronger and more beautiful.

But in this night after spending a few hours with family and friends praying, reading the Quran and the Duaa (supplications), I like to spend a few hours all by myself with my own prayers and readings. Sometimes it is important to do things alone, to make our own steps, to take time to confront our weakness, fears and selfishness.

This night is a perfect night for new beginnings, to start giving more attention to our faith and beliefs, and to give less attention to our selfish wants and needs. Not only our mind and body has needs and cravings but our soul too. This night is a good night to start spending a little more time in thinking.

This night has a beautiful atmosphere, everyone is up till the early hours of the morning to pray and step away of all the material things. Some people like to do special rituals and acts that mark a fresh beginning, and this night is perfect because of all the religious spiritual rituals, the beautiful atmosphere and the history that lies within this night. In some way it is like the New Year’s resolutions that people make every year to start over with themselves.

It might be hard to understand for people that have not given much thought about religion and faith, but I see this night as a good night for also none Muslims or none believers to start a fresh beginning. You might think why do I need a fresh beginning for? I don’t steal, I don’t lie, I don’t cheat, I don’t do drugs, I am not aggressive and beat my family or other people and I try as much as possible not to use bad language. With fresh beginning I mean a fresh beginning with the simple things. They are so simple and small we don’t think about them, such as being rude and hard on our little brother, sister or even our selves, or using so much water for showers and brushing our teeth, or not appreciating the things our family and friends do for us and taking them for granted, or throwing half of the food that we buy in the rubbish bin while others haven’t had a warm meal in a week. This night is perfect to take an oath with ourselves to spend a few moments thinking. You could do the coffee in the morning for your dad when he’s running late for work, or buy your little sister that T-shirt she loved but was saving the money for a DVD, or send an SMS to your friend saying “Hey, what are you up to?” just to show that you care, or to do the laundry once in a while. Consider it an invitation to turn the page, Muslim, none Muslim, whoever you are, where ever you are.

You might think, what is she babbling about? It is supposed to be something religious, right? Well, our religion is a way of life. There are two sides to it, one is between us and our creator and the other is the life that our creator has given to us, which includes people, work, ambitions and etc..

Ramadan Kareem

2009-08-20T22:03:00.012+01:00

Today is Ramadan, Ramadan is the 9th month in the Islamic calender which is called Hijri calender. In the Islamic calender we don't have fixed dates, so the month starts and ends according to the moon. So there are two ways to announce that Ramadan has started, some by sight and others use astrological to mark the new month. As for me and my family we relay on modern technology because it is capable to give the exact birth of the moon. But others relay on their sight to mark Ramadan just like the days of the prophet (peace be upon him). So there are always some people who start Ramadan earlier and others later, this is very sad because it would be beautiful if all Muslims would start together on the same day. But those slight differences of one or two days don't matter because in the end Ramadan is Ramadan.

To none muslims Ramadan is just a month where muslims don't eat during the day and make up for it in the night. Let me explain what Ramadan really is. In this month over 1400 years A.C the holy book the Quran was reveled to mankind. In this month we fast from sunrise to sunset, to remember the poor and hungry and learn to know how lucky we are and start to appreciate the little things that are so easy to forget. In this month we try to use less bad language, even though we should do it everyday all the year. In this moth we can see and feel how people are caseous about their actions and slowly see what they were doing and how it effects them and others. In this month people start thinking about the things that really matter in life and try to step away of all the material things that keep us in chains. During fasting hours people don't have sexual activities, to learn that humans don't just have physical, emotional and humanitarian needs but we have spiritual needs and needs for our minds and our souls.

So this months is so holy for us for many reasons not just because the Holy Quran was reveled this very month and not just because we don't eat all day. This month is to start thinking with our brains and most importantly listening to our hearts. To start thinking about what we did, what we do and what we could do, not just for us but for others. To start listening to our heart, because always at some point of a persons life sooner or later, we start questioning where we came from and how come this world is they way it is. People start asking these questions if they never gave much thought to it, but also people who have been practicing their religion all their life. Because at the beginning you just copy what you are taught but one day you will have to find your own way to make it your religion not your parent's that you follow. This month is to build up a relationship with your creator, to build up a relationship with your inner self, and to begin fresh with not only phyiscal strength but also mental & spiritual strength.

P.S: Children, people who are sick and elderly people who are not able to fast, don't need to fast. As for the sick people if they can they must pay an amount of money to feed poor people. This helps them feel that they are doing something unselfish in Ramadan and share this holy month with us.

Sami Yusuf Live Concert In Bahrain

2009-08-18T05:44:00.021+01:00

Yesterday was the best night of the summer. Sami Yusuf came to Bahrain and gave a live concert. He sang all his popular songs, like Hasbi Rabbi (my favourite song), Free (A song I love), Teacher, My Ummah, etc.. An orchestra was playing and each musician came from a different country, for example the two guitarist came from England, the drummer was from New York, the violinist was from Cairo, the other musicians came from Germany, Lebanon, etc...

The concert hall was full. So many people came. To be in the crowd and to feel the thrill was so amazing. When the lights went off everyone was clapping and yelling. Everyone was so excited. I swear, I felt like I could feel everyone around me getting tense while my own heart was racing madly.

You know what, when Sami Yusuf came in you can't help but like him. You know why? When I see any concert on TV or Youtube for any singer Madonna, Britney, Rihanna, etc... they come on stage with a huge show for everyone to admire them but with Sami Yusuf it was different. A very humble, down to earth man came on stage, bend down slightly and gave the audience a very warm smile. That was the star of the night. His entrance wasn't a huge show but the effect that this humble person left on us was tremendously huge.

While he was singing everyone was singing along with him but the best part was in every song where he said Allah or Muhammed or Mustafa we all (girls and guys) would stand up, throw our arms up in the air and scream with him. The atmosphere was infectious. We all were one and the same, just Muslims, not Shii, Suni, Hunaifi, etc...

In the concert he sang the song that is dedicated to us Muslim girls called free. If you don't know it you must put it on your to do list because you have to check it out. It is about the "Hijab" scarf. While he was singing it, I saw a lot of girls with tears running down their cheeks. We just couldn't stop it. Listening to this song just renews our power to carry the hijab, because the truth is wearing the hijab needs power. Some need a lot of power and others need less power but in the end it needs power.

A lot of people think that this kind of way to express your yourself and your religion is not religious but the opposite of religious. Some even think it's wrong because those sounds take people away of being spiritual. But I think otherwise. For me Sami Yusuf uses music to promote the message of Islam and encourages us youth to be proud of our religion and identity. You see a lot of our Muslim youth listening to other types of music because they like it. Youth today wants to listen to music, and the good music is offered by none Muslim singers and artist. Why shouldn't we offer the youth want they want in an fun Islamic way. There is no use forbidding them to listen to offensive, sexual oriented and bad language songs because they will do it anyway and will be pulled away of their religion more & more if the Muslims don't offer a good substitute, and I hope Sami Yusuf is just the beginning.

Anyway my hands hurt from clapping, my lungs hurt from singing along and I have a headache because I got back home around midnight and woke up at 5 a.m for work, so all in all my I'm really tired, but last night was worth it.

Unemployed Was Yesterday

2009-08-12T18:27:00.002+01:00

I joined the working forces. I work in an office were I help out by doing anything to take the load off. Well, I try. So I do a little book keeping, filing, printing, filling application and calling people to do this and that. I am told to do this and that, things I never heard of or know less than nothing about, so I ask a million questions which might or definetly annoys people around here, but hey when I am going to do something I want it to be right. But it gets better slowly.

Well, that work is from 8 a.m to 4 p.m but I have another job too, back at home. Since I'm moving out next month my sister is going to get my room. She wants a different colour for the walls. So our job is to get everything out of my ex-room and paint the walls. So all my things are moving to the guest room which is not in the house it self. My family seems to find it quit suitable that I'm moving out, ugh. Anyway, the guest room is my room now, so when ever I get back from England I have somewhere to stay. In the past three days we managed to get all of my things out, I found things that I was looking for and couldn't find and I found things I didn't even know I had. Seriously we humans buy things that we don't need, the problem is we think we need them. Once upon a time, people needed water, food,air and shelter. Now we need flash pink pens with glitter for school, a sock for the phone, etc etc...

Taking all my things out.

Working on my sisters new room.

Ex-guest room/ my room.

We are starting with painting next week, I'll show you how my ex-room room (new sister's room) will look like.

To be continued...

Sick

2009-08-11T10:38:00.008+01:00

The last two weeks were pretty messy. I got the flu, a really bad flu. I stayed in bed for 3 days straight. My family got really worried because 3 weeks back I came back from Germany so I might have got the swine flu, but after 3 days I was back to normal. In those 3 days I spent my time either sleeping, reading or watching "Prison Break" all over again. In only 3 days I managed watching all of season one. Being sick ain't that bad aye?

Probably you are thinking, didn't you go to the doctor? Well, I don't do doctors. They have a very important job and they are doing a lot of good but I hate going to the doctor. The reason is, when I was 4 years old I got a really bad flu, my temperature was 41, my mom took me to a doctor who freaked me out and to this very day I hate going to the doctor. I only go to the hospital for very serious things, which I never had to go to, thank god, or for example when I broke my leg, or I go to visit other people and I enjoy it when we go to see a new born baby. Otherwise, my receipt for every illness is sleeping and panadol or aspirin.

Here, Now, this Moment

2009-08-01T00:37:00.007+01:00

My mom walked into my room this morning, put a DVD on my desk, said "watch this" and left the room. So tonight my friend and I watched it. It is called "Peaceful Warrior" based on the book "Way of the Peaceful Warrior".

While watching the movie I realized that the message the movie is trying to give is quit important, it is a topic that I ignore, now that I am actually thinking about it. I realized that I am not really living the "now". For example, when I was in high school I was waiting for the summer holidays to start, when the summer holidays started I was waiting for the day to leave for Germany, now that I am back in Bahrain I am waiting for the 26th of September the day I will leave Bahrain and go to England to start university. These are just a few examples.

What a waste of time? From school start after spring break were 3 months that I didn't actually "really" live, from the beginning of the summer holidays until I left for Germany were 2 weeks that I didn't "really" live, from now till the start of university are two months that I could waste. I must remind my self to live the moment, the right now, and the right here. It is actually quit weird, I am waiting all this time because I think I will have what I want then, that I will like it more, or that it will be more exciting, while me Mariam, I am the same back then, now and tomorrow.

Raising Good Daughters

2009-07-26T12:25:00.006+01:00

The only thing that a girl really owns is her reputation. I hate hate hate this sentence. Every girl has her own special qualities that she owns. Please don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean that she can do what ever she wants even though it is wrong. But this sentence puts girls in a little box. This is not how to control girls, they will one day break out. Well, they are breaking out.

Recently I met a few girls who locked themselves up in little boxes because they are afraid of harming their reputation. Very simple things scare them. For example, when someone jokes around and tells them they like some guy that doesn't exist to tease them. Or they are afraid to be seen in some mall, because the uncle of the cousin of their father doesn't approve, when their parents actually don't mind. Or they are afraid to be seen talking to some girl who people are saying a lot of rumors about even though they might not be true. Or they are afraid to have a friend that doesn't wear the hijb (head scarf) or Abya (traditional clothing), even though she is a really nice person.

What bothers me the most is when the daughters argue "why not" with their families the answer is "The only thing a girl really owns is her reputation". This method is not going to work for much longer I assure everyone. A lot of girls don't abide to those rules anymore because:

1) they don't want to be controlled. Parents with some brains would explain and discuss the issue and I am sure it does wonders because it works with me.

2) Parents are afraid of the new, they don't realize that their children don't live like they did, their children's generation is another one.

3)Parents think they are protecting their children, when the only way to protect them is to educate them.

4) The girls want to think and make their own decisions, they refuse to be told what to do and what not for no reason.

5) The family is afraid that people will say that they don't know how to raise their daughters properly.

But I am happy to say that this only applies to a small number of girl nowadays. Some people abide these rules because they are afraid of the people's split tongues, and some because (even though they are Arabs) they can't differentiate between religion and tradition.

Back

2009-07-23T15:34:00.004+01:00

Hey I'm back. My room looks like a bomb just exploded in it. The weather is so hot, I could fry eggs on the car. My e-mail address is locked for some reason. All my clothes need to be washed. Welcome home Mariam.

We love to entertain you

2009-07-08T13:20:00.002+01:00

Back in Bahrain we don't have MTV, so I catch up on all the crazy when I'm here. The shows are all about looks, body, sex, .... umm that's about it. It's so superficial, I can't picture the lives of those people. Being fit,hot and sexy is all that matters. It's brain washing right in your house. This is the modern age.

All eyes on me

2009-07-07T13:00:00.003+01:00

What would people think? This question is probably one of the most asked questions. Dose it matter? Actually not, but the truth is, it does.

Here in a small vilage in Germany, where ever I go all eyes are on me, in the supermarket, cafe, shop, srteet, or when I`m riding my bike all eyes are set on me. I`m wearing my jeans, a shirt and a piece of cloth over my head. I guess this is why.

Sometimes I feel like I want to hide in the house away from all the eyes. But I still force myself out. Some people look at me and smile and I wan to hug them for that, but others don`t. It doesn`t hurt though, I guess because years back i decided that it will not hurt me.

Off For A While

2009-06-18T14:48:00.004+01:00

I had a really busy week. I spent the whole week as a volunteer in an English Summer Camp for orphans. It is organized by the American Embassy, who brought Scott our coach from America. I spent 8 to 9 hours a day playing games with the kids so they could pick up the language but mostly it was about having a good time. But it was so tiring, kids equal work. I came back home, dropped myself on my bed and fell asleep straight away for a week but I enjoyed myself too.

Anyway this is my last post for some time because I am going to Germany tonight to visit my grandparents there, so I won't be able to write. Just so you know I'm coming back on the 21 July.OK, I have to go and pack my bag. Bye.

The Secret Lives Of Arab Teens

2009-06-12T22:08:00.010+01:00

The three main electronic devices: laptop, iPod and mobile. If I had to give up any of them, I am 100% sure it would be my mobile phone, its piratical and can help out in some tricky situation but still this is what I would give up after all, they are house-phones and pay-phones.

But ask 90% of the girls in Bahrain and the surrounding countries, I think they would give up oxygen before they would give up their mobile phones. The reason for that is Mr. secret boyfriend. Yup, it's not right in the islamic point of view, it's not right in the traditional point of view. But I am not here to say what is right or wrong, I am just saying what is going on. It is not accepted with our older citizens but normal with our younger citizens. And it is loved by our telephone companies, because they are making money like crazy.

Girls as young as 12 years old claim to have found their true love. But I think it is sad, I mean yea they might think the whole thing is exciting and they might find a kick in having a dirty little secret, but and there is a big BUT to it. Is it really worth it?

Most of the so called relationships last for a short period of time, if you can even call them a relationship, because I don't consider a phone relationship actually a relationship. The phone is just like the internet, you can pretend to be who ever you want to be, just because you can. A lot of people might think of it as a sign of modernization because they are copying the west. Is copying modernization, hmm? Big Question mark there. And then again, in the west most couples that don't see each other and have to carry on with their "relationship" on the phone break up most of the time anyway. And then there is this feeling of guilt, and I know most of the people do feel that way. Guilt is one of the ugliest feelings ever. I am not sure about the rest of you, but I'd rather feel tied down than guilty. Then there is the secrecy, when you have to hide something then it is not right. And I think a relationship should be right or it's not worth it.

How does it happen? Well, the girl and the guy are in some mall, they shoot looks, then the guy throws a little paper with his number at the girl, faltering right? Hmm, questionable. Or they small talk and exchange numbers. I don't know about the guys but the girls hide in their rooms, bathrooms to talk. They talk mostly nights. And when people are around they use girl tenses so the family would think it is a "girl" friend. They save the guys number with a girls name. This is the common way, but I guess there are a million other ways.

Where do we learn all this? Movies. True love. The thing is life is way different than hollywood. Catching stories of how they met and how perfect everything is, and the imperfectness is still so nice somehow, don't you think? The amazing love story, where prince charming gets to fight for her. Well, ladies it's not that way. Of course for every rule there is an exception but that leaves the rest which is 95% the rule. (ha ha, I have that rule from the movie "he's just not that into you".) And I know that, because 99% of the people I know who have secret boyfriends break up, marry other people, get bored, get caught or spend all the time fighting about nothing.

No offense, everything I said is just a personal view and not a judgment. This is just how I see it.

P.S: read the book "Girls of Riyadh" by Rajaa Alsanea.

Our Graduation Party

2009-06-09T18:52:00.005+01:00

Our graduation party was so great, amazing, perfect.........no it wasn't. Long boring speeches, the song we were meant to sing, we messed it up, our teachers made us rehearse 3 times the entrance in front of the guests...huh?.... and a girl fainted, nobody knows why. Our teachers kept yelling at us to behave, seriously our parents know how we really are, no need to pull this act of robots. For us students who our GPAs are above 90% we got medals instead of honor students scarfs as usual, as if we won a football match. I like football but still.

But all in all it was nice, everyone needs a dose of drama from time to time. Some teachers and students cried (I was not one of them), all newspapers and magazines were there, they took pictures of us as if we were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in person. A storm of lighting and thunder hit me, I know my luck, my picture will look like crap, I bet one eye is closed and the other only half open, classic.

My uniform and graduation robe.

MuSiC

2009-06-07T12:49:00.009+01:00

I was going through my iTunes today, so I decided I will share with you my all time favorite songs:
1. I Hope You Dance by Ronan Keating.
2. Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls.
3. Every Breath You Take by The Police.
4. What About Now by Chris Daughtry.
5. Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt.
6. How To Save A Life by The Fray.
7. Wonderful World by James Morrison.
8. One by U2 ft. Mary J. Blige.
9. Let Me Sign By Robert Pattinson.
10. Please Don't Stop The Rain by James Morrison. (My current obsesstion)
11. Angels By Robbie Williams.
12. Complicated by Avril Lavgine.
13. Dear Mr. President by Pink.

I also love some German songs:
1. Regen Und Meer by Juli.
2. Führ Mich Ans Licht by Xavier Naidoo.

I hate all Arab songs but there are a very few exceptions, for example "Kalimat" by Majida Al-Roomie but hey the lyrics are wrttien by Nizar Al-Qabani, he himself is an execption, a lot of people don't like him, "he is too daring" but this is what I like most about him.

I also like Rockstar by Nickelback, it's not from my favorites songs but the lyrics are great, and it's fun to sing along. Well, it's fun for me not the people who are sitting close enough to hear. I also like some Rnb songs but they are not good enough to be in my favorite songs list.

This is my iPod that I broke, but it is still working, good, because I am addicted to it.

Always Late

2009-06-03T22:03:00.004+01:00

You know what's annoying, people being extra late. I don't mean 5 minutes late, I mean like only 2 hours late. In Bahrain it's the most normal thing ever, like breathing normal. When you invite people over and say 3 p.m., they usually show up at 3:30 or 3:45. It drives me crazy. It looks like people think it is rude to come over on time, they think it looks like their being pushy or desperate. But, the thing is I invited you over, and when I say 3 I mean 3, and I mean it exactly 3. Ok, I don't mind 5 minutes later or even 10 but not ages.

So what happened today was, that our school forced 600 girls to get out of their beds at 7 a.m (on our second day of holidays) to be at school at 8 a.m for the graduation party/ceremony rehearsal. They warned each and every one of us to be there at 8 a.m, so we show up at 8 but guess what rehearsal started at 10:15. Yes, unbelievable.

I will not be put in a box

2009-06-02T00:29:00.009+01:00

People hate the unknown so to make it easy for themselves they put people into categories to deal with them. No matter with which kind of group they are dealing with. In small communities there are the cool people, jocks, nerds, geeks, freaks and so on. In bigger communities there are low class, average and high class. Talking about the world there are Western, Arabs, English, Black, White, Muslim, Christian, Jew, Hindu, Asian, European, African, American etc, etc….

Each group, category or whatever you want to call them behave in a cretin way, and they expect the members of their own group to behave in that way. And they expect people from other groups to stick to behaving in their own way.

But I am not going to be put in a little sample glass with a label on it, neither by Arabs nor any other people. (Please mind, that most of these supposed to be behaviors come from both Arabs and none Arabs, see which one you thought doesn’t fit to a typical Muslim Arab girl). Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that rides a bike? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that travels abroad to study? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that wears jeans to go out? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that gets married after the age of 24? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that does martial arts? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that is thought of as a terrorist? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that travels alone? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that goes out all by herself? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that listens to western music? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that thinks Robert Pattinson looks good? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that isn’t thought of as oppressed? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that likes dance moves like in “step up” the movie? Why can’t I be a Muslim Arab girl that rides a motor bike?

I bet when you saw a Muslim Arab girl that does, thinks, likes all those things, you would stare and think of it as odd and I bet you that you would have liked it more if she would have stuck to what you think as normal for her.

Done With School

2009-06-01T21:50:00.007+01:00

Hey I'm back, it has been for ever since I wrote anything. I was really busy with my final exams, which I finished today. So, I am done with school for life. I am so happy, yea it sounds very cliché but its true. You should see all my friends nicknames on msn, it is hilarious.

The weird part is I feel like I should be feeling much more than I am feeling right now, maybe because it didn't hit me yet, or maybe this is how I just feel. I will get rid of all my school books, papers, revision sheets, etc etc... maybe I will get it then.

I felt like I had to do something today to mark this day, so my friend & I cut our hair. But it wasn't me who actually cut my hair, don't worry, we went to a hair saloon which some of our friends said is supposedly so good. The result I don't really like my hair cut. Not that I hate it either. But I am in a that good mood that it will not break that easily. Plus I wear a hijab (head scarf) so bad hair days aren't that bad. One of the Hijabs pros.

The weather is extremely hot, like boiling hot, I think I will ask my school friends to come over to swim, something like a pool graduation pre-party. Our actual graduation party is next Monday 8th of June. Where we get to throw our graduation caps, yay. I bet there will be a lot of tears, which freaks me out, but there is a good chance that I will be joining that group. But our school is coming up with even crappier rules at the end of the year than at the beginning, so our school declared that no cameras are allowed at the graduation party, WHAT? But mine will be there 100%. I can't leave my camera, its like breaking up with it, and I love my camera.

P.S: I don't mind a little something for graduation like an iPhone maybe (a little message at mom & dad). OK, OK graduation and 18th birthday gift which is only in 4 months :P

An Art To Express

2009-05-08T11:25:00.001+01:00

I was never really interested in the Art of drawing but last week in German class I had to describe a picture so my teacher showed me some drawings of Frida Kahlo, a Mexican artist, who is known for drawing herself. She has suffered a lot in life, she was in a bad bus accident, so she had to wear a back cast for years. Also her husband was cheating on her with a lot of different woman. All those things play a big role in her drawing.

I am not sure if I think her drawings are nice, but they are very meaning full and some drawing are very shocking. What I admire about her is that she has a very clear way of expressing herself, it shows her pain, her thoughts and her life. I am the kind of person who can not show that I am hurting or in pain because then I feel that I am weak. I am ashamed if I cry in front of people, because I see it as a weakness though I know it isn't but for some reason I am that way. I can't really explain it. Frida's drawings showed me something I can't to do which is express myself. I know it is funny that this comes from me, someone who writes a blog about herself which is expressing myself but I am really bad at it in real life.

This picture has the most effect on me though it's not the most moving drawing of hers, but I think I have this picture in mind because I can see myself in it. She is part Mexican and part Spanish, and in this picture she shows the two frida's, so I can relate to her feelings about this issue because there is in a freakish way, two Mariams, an Arabic Mariam and a German Mariam. The Arabic Mariam is maybe more clear or dominant because I live in an Arabic country but there are somethings where German Mariam takes over. It's all just so twisted and I had big problems with this a few years ago, maybe that's the reason why I have this drawing on my mind.

Just My Luck

2009-05-07T13:00:00.001+01:00

Life is so unfair. I am going to act like a teenager right now. Wait a minute, I am a teenager, I can be a drama queen from time to time. So again, life is so unfair. I have been waiting for the summer holidays to start so I can start to take my divining classes but now that the law have been changed I have to wait for my 18th birthday to actually start my driving classes, but since my birthday is on the 27th of September I will not be able to do my driving license because at that time I will be at University in England. So, to do my driving license I will have to wait till next year. Just my luck.

Only 15 years back just a few woman were driving here, now everyone is driving, allot of girls in my class are starting their driving classes next month.

Some People Are Beyond Me

2009-05-06T12:01:00.002+01:00

A few days ago my mom told me a story she saw on German TV. It was about a 12 year old Palestinian boy who was shoot dead in the head by an Israeli solider because he has mistaken him for a gunmen. The parents of the boy "Ahmed Al- Katib" have given a gift to the people of Israel and Palestine, and to peace by allowing their sons organs to be donated to save the lives of children on the Israeli side . The father said that he hoped the donation would send a message of peace to Israelis and Palestinians.

Ahmed's organs have saved the lives of six people of different ages, including a Druze girl who got his heart, and two Israelis who received his lungs and liver. One of Ahmed's kidneys saved the life of Mohammed Kabua, a Bedouin child who lives in Israel's southern Negev desert.

His kidney also saved Menuha Levinson, the toddler daughter of an ultra-Orthodox Jewish family in Jerusalem. But her father's initial discomfort at the idea of an Arab donor shows the deep personal suspicion that stokes this conflict.

Yaakov Levinson says shortly after his daughter's life-saving operation that he would would have preferred a Jewish donor and remarks that he would never allow his children to be friends with Arabs for fear of "bad influence". This remark has struck me deeply, a father who has lost his son for nothing by their people has saved their little daughter's life, how can this man still say something like this? How can someone be so full of hate? This is beyond me.

If such an act of kindness can not bring peace then what? what is there to do?

This story has been filmed and it is called "The heart of Jenin", a German-Israeli documentary film, shows the story of Ahmed, his father, and three of the five people who received the donated organs.

A Soon To Be University Student

2009-05-05T15:54:00.005+01:00

Lady's and gentlemen it is official, my best friend Zainab and I are going to Exeter University at the end of September. Yaaaay.

Well, the months of looking for unis, sending applications, etc.. etc.. are over. I like the idea of having my next step set.

Now I am wondering, should I be changing my blog name when I'm there to "Arab girl on British land" or something?? No, ummm or yes? whatever.

Arab Girls At a Car Race

2009-04-26T19:35:00.006+01:00

Yesterday my best friend & I went to the Formula One Gulf Air Bahrain Grand pix. The first car race I ever went to, well, it was actually the qualifying. My friend & I sat there in the first row and had no idea what was going on. Every few seconds a very loud car drove past us in crazy speed. I really like fast driving, I know I know, Dangerous, but I like it. What I didn't like was the impossible loud volume of the cars, I didn't get ear-plus (all I can say is stupid) so I came back home and my ears were hurting so bad. The circuit is in the middle of the desert and the weather was extremely hot. We were sweating like pigs, I can't even imagine how the drivers felt. Why would anyone have a car race in the middle of the desert??

Anyway, what I leaned is that most people go there to be seen and see other people. It's a big show off stage. Most people don't watch the race, though the tickets are expensive, everyone hangs around the stages to watch the singers, hip hop dancers, acrobats, etc... There was even bungee jumping. It really was worth seeing if only the weather was 20 degrees Celsius less.

The People.

People can cool under the water.

Careless

2009-04-22T15:25:00.002+01:00

I know of 8 people in Bahrain who wear the seat belt in the car. 8 people of so many. Nobody wears the seat belt in Bahrain, it's just something no one ever thinks of. The new cars "beeb" when people aren't wearing the seat belt, but the people here solved this little annoyance by just keeping the seat belt plugged in all the time and sitting on it. Easy.

It doesn't matter to me if people don't care about their own safety, it's their issue but not when it comes to their little children. Parents drive while their little kids or babies sit in their laps. I see this everyday at least 3 times. It drives me crazy. They are lucky that nothing ever happened, very lucky.

My mom is right, it has something to do with the folk, it's a national specific, people just don't think about such things as safety here. I realized not just here, but every single Arab country I have been to. Why?

I consider people following those simple rules literate and educated. Sometimes comfort and old habits don't matter.

Jeans size zero

2009-04-21T12:41:00.004+01:00

I bet everyone knows those TV shows: The Insider, TMZ, Explosive, extra, extra.. Yep, these shows run even here. So everyday we are followed by pictures of stars getting thinner and thinner, it's been going on for so long that skinny is the new beautiful.

Whenever, we have a free period at school, one of our main topics is how to loose weight. So many girls here way so little and refuse to eat. Just a few years ago, weight was not an issue in the Arab world, everyone looked they way they looked. A little bit more was considered even better. But, that was back then. This is globalization, don't get me wrong, I am not against globalization but not everything is good, and the skinny virus is really bad. It is everywhere.

I'll admit, every time I eat something I think it through, how many calories, how much fat? I feel bad if I ate too much of anything. I jog everyday to keep my weight. I am 168cm and I weigh 55 kilos which is about 5'6 and 121 pounds, and to be honest I wish I could loose 2 to 4 kilos. We are all victims of dictated ideal standards, and I am just one of the millions in that long line.

People's Minds Are Little Boxes

2009-04-20T14:06:00.004+01:00

Wednesday, 15th April
Me walking around the house with the Ipod on full volume. I walk past my "German" grandpa for the 4th time but this time he is waving his hands over his head. I take the ear-plugs out.
Me: What?
Grandpa: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Uh..sure.
Grandpa: You behave weird..
Me: Uh......Thanks Opa "Opa is grandpa in German"
Grandpa: What I mean is, you live your life as if you didn't decide what to choose.
Me: huh?
Grandpa: You go out with your friends to malls, cinemas and restaurants. When you go out you wear jeans and shirts but still wear the hijab"head scarf". You listen to music, but when it is prayer time you stop everything and pray. It doesn't fit, the religious and modern life. It's like you contradict yourself.

I stare at my grandpa, it seems strange that he asks this after years of me being the way I am. I didn't think that he still had this false image in his head after him living with us and see how it really is.

Me: Who decided that it doesn't fit? It's what people made up in their minds. If that's the way you think then consider me breaking the rules. Why do I have to live as if it is the 1600's if I want to have a religious life? I wear modern clothes that still fit to my religion, what's weird or wrong in that, after all I'm 17. I stick to the Quran, my prayers, etc.. because I believe in it, that doesn't make me old fashioned, oh right people decided that it is old fashioned. People make up these unwritten rules and apply them as if it is the way it is supposed to be even though it sucks. I see my faith as a way of life not a little box to paralyze me. I am not going to deny that it is hard to combine both, sometimes even very hard but it is a challenge.

A totally different topic, my current obsession is "Let me sign" by Robert Pattinson. And yes, it Edward from twilight. He can actually sing. Love it.

Don't Tell Me How I Feel

2009-04-04T20:01:00.008+01:00

Today in German class, I was asked to write about something I feel strongly about, so I thought I will share it with you.When I walk around in Germany, I feel really bad because of the looks I get from people. I am just a 17 year old girl who wants to travel, see the world, get to know people from different countries, religions and traditions, work and achieve something that will make me proud of myself. The looks just hurt and sting. Some times I want to hide but I know I have no reason to hide. The piece of cloth that I am wearing on my head is like a mark of a criminal in the Western world. I can't help thinking where is the democracy everyone is talking about?? You know what the weird part about it is, they keep talking about us using the word oppressed, DON'T TELL ME HOW I FEEL, because you don't know.

Listen to "Free" by Sami Yusuf about this issue.

Summed Up the Week

2009-04-02T20:54:00.006+01:00

Another really busy week, so we started our mid term exams, I already got 3 exams over with, 6 exams to go ugh. So this week was just studying. So I added a study couch in my room. It belongs actually in the extension of the living room but I am not giving it back, it looks great in my room.

On Tuesday the school gave us our graduation robe and this weird hat that students in the uni wear for graduation but they do it here for high school kids too. I was so thrilled when I got the robe, it was like a proof that I am actually done with school and will go on to university. I will finish school (for ever) around 2nd of June. Don't get me wrong I never hated to go to school but I am not a nerd either.

My German grandparents are coming on Monday, well, my brother, sister & I are only supposed to know that my grandfather is coming, but we also discovered that my grandmother is coming too, so we have to act all surprised and as if we can't believe it.

And oh yeah, I really like Badminton (the real game) and Tennis Wii.

Freakish Boys and Other Happenings

2009-03-28T14:37:00.005Z

It is about time for me to write again, it's been ages. It was really busy lately. I'll start with the good news first, I got accepted in 4 unis in England ( Exeter, Sheffield, Reading and Brunel) and in one uni in Australia so far (Curtin), I am waiting for the reply from loughborough, if they accept my friend and I, we are going if not then we're going to Exeter :)

Other happenings this week, I went to an Aerobics class, my mom was talking about it for so long so I just gave in this week. It's not really my thing, the music was annoying and old, plus, it is so different from Taekwondo the sport I did for 5 years, I just had to remind myself "Mariam, don't forget to move your arms" (which is a taboo in Taekwondo). The thing is that I enjoy dancing, I thought I would like it more.

I had lots of sport competitions this week at our school, and we had some good matches that we won and others we had second or third place which is OK though we want to win.

I also had an English reading competition at a secondary boys school, that was scary, girls and guys are in separate schools, so when the guys heard there were girls in school none of the guys in the whole school was in class. The guys were knocking at the doors and windows and the teachers couldn't stop them. FREAKS.

Bahraini, German. My Identity?

2009-03-18T11:45:00.003Z

A few months ago I expressed my frustration about never really learning German. I'm half German, so I should have done some basic studying, but my parents were happy that my sister, brother & I could speak so well German, only because my mom was talking with us on German since we started to learn how to talk. For them it might be enough, but not for me. When I was 12 years old, I was really angry at them because I could speak German like a German but I couldn't read nor write. They were telling me "You are German and you are Bahraini". How can I be German when I can't even read or write the language. It confusing enough with the 2 nationalities that I have, sometimes I felt I didn't belong to neither. And not knowing how to read or write made me feel even less that I am half German. Sometimes I feel like I have a lost identity.

Anyway, so when I was 12 years old, I told myself that I had to take matters in my own hand, so I took some of my mom's German books, and started to read really slowly. I used to read the letters in the English language and then try to remember a word that I'm using when I'm speaking in German that kind of sounds like it. I spent hours and hours reading my mom's books. At the beginning, it took forever to finish a page but it got easier every time. Now I read fluently. The problem is, I have a lot of spelling mistakes in writing, and this depresses me a lot.

But, last week, we found a German teacher here in Bahrain, who will professionally teach me German, not just picking up the language and accent by listening and reading, but will go with me through grammar, vocab, etc...

Some people might say, "Is she crazy, who wants grammar lessons out of school?". Well, I do. I hate it back at school (Arabic grammar), but I'm glad I studied it. Language is one of the things that gives people their identity, and makes you feel like you belong somewhere.

By the way I have some really good news, my best friend & I got into Exeter University. I'm ultra happy about that.

The Big NO List

2009-03-15T17:24:00.008Z

Today we took the camera to school to make some photos of us. With us I mean my friends & I.
I can't show you photos of us because:
no. 1 they would kill me, the pics are just mad.
no. 2 here, girls don't upload pics of themselves on the Internet. (Too many things can happen to those pics).
Anyway, so I wanted to show you how it looks like in a Bahraini girls school.

Desks, chairs, mess.

more mess.

My friend's table after styling.

Now to the big NO list as indicated in the title, our school is strict, and in strict I mean: No camera (the rule we broke today), No mobile phones, No i-Pods, No long finger nails, No nail Polish, No make up, No earrings, No rings, No big hair clips, No going out between classes (the 5 minutes break), No going out from class without yellow card, No buying food between classes, No dying hair in unnatural colors, No high heels, No going on the Internet for fun during free hours, No walking around during free hours, etc..

Other reasons why our school is strict: Must attend morning assembly, Shoes Must be black, head-scarfs Must be black or white, Must wear shirts with color, jackets Must be white, black or blue. Hair Must be worn up, school blouse Must be white, sports shirts Must be white, sport trousers Must be Black, etc..

I think you got what I meant right??

Quick Uni Update: My friend & I got into Reading University in the UK. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Memory Problems

2009-03-10T18:38:00.003Z

OK here is the thing, I'm really bad at remembering names. It is really embarrassing when I see someone I was with in school years ago in a shopping mall and I can't remember their name. It bothers me when I can't put a name to a face. I am really good at remembering faces, pictures, shapes and routes because I make stories to them. The weird part is, here in Bahrain there are 3 very common names for girls and 5 common names for guys. And it's definite that in each family there must be at least 1 if not all names. So actually it is supposed to be easy to remember names, right?

So the most common names for girls are:
1. Fatima
2. Zainab
3. Zahra (which means rose, by the way after my mom converted to Islam she changed her name to Zahra)

And for the guys:
1. Mohammed
2. Ahmed (my brother)
3. Ali
4. Hussain
5. Hassan

I Want More Than This

2009-03-08T20:26:00.003Z

I feel relived that all our papers (my friend & I) for the UK universities are done. We gave everything that is needed today to the agent. So it's waiting time. At the end of this week we are going to start to send off all the papers for the Australian universities. Wish us luck.

I've been asked now for a few times the same question, why do I want to study abroad, while in Bahrain we have the majors that I want to study? They make it sounds so ridicules, as if it is a waste of time (the foundation year) and a waste of money. I find it strange that people don't really understand my wish to see other places, other people, new things, just something else. How can those experiences both good and bad be waste of time and money. I respect their way of thinking, that they have all they need here, why go abroad, it is not wrong, if that satisfies them, if they don't want more. But I want more. Aren't they curious to to see and know. Yea, we all hear a lot of things about a lot of places but I learned it is almost always different than what you just hear, experiencing it is different, is real. It's an adventure, not the Indiana Jones kind of adventure but still.

I am not talking about the majority of people, just a few people that I met, I am just thinking out loud, (If that is the right term to use on the Internet).

I discovered through the agent that there are a lot more every year who are going to study abroad, both guys and girls. But still, there are some people who would like to, but wouldn't even allow themselves to dream about it. The idea is just too new (I discovered people take a lot of time to accept new things here, and are not eager to do or try new things, but once they get used to it, it is accepted). For others, the idea is too big and scary and they have already made it an impossible thing in their minds. Just why, aren't hopes meant to die last? And how is it going to happen if you don't even try?

It is a big step for an Arab girl to step up and leave, to be honest I'm scared (well, scared is the wrong word), I know it will not be easy, but I'm really looking forward to study abroad, and very excited about it. I hope I get to do it.

Today's discoveries

2009-03-07T17:53:00.009Z

Things that I really need to change about myself:
1. use less water when brushing my teeth.
2. stop reading in the car so my head doesn't get dizzy.
3. wear a shirt for a little while and then throw it clean in the washing basket.
4. stop pulling out my iPod, camera, memory stick etc... without ejecting it from the programs.
5. stop chewing so much gum, I need to go to rehab for that. But then "Wrigley's" might loose half of their profit.
6. stop checking my horoscope everyday even though I don't believe in that kind of stuff, I like it when it turns out all wrong compared to what is written in the stars for me, especially when it is not good.
7. stop doing my homework while chatting on msn with my friends.

Today I was listening to people closely not just hearing them, and I realized that in the Arabic language (by the way even in German) we adopted English words. For Example: T-shirt, water hose, mobile, laptop, light, time, lip gloss, box, radio, pencil, camera, video, telephone, computer, calculator, and loads more.

In pronouncing them, they might sound a little different than the "real English" but still we use them as if they were Arabic (or German for that matter). For example, "light" the Bahrainis pronounce it "late" and use it in their daily conversations.

To all those words we actually have Arabic words that are completely different but they are only used in formal talking or writing, otherwise it's always the English words we use.

Now the weird thing is people don't realize anymore that this is not a different language that they are using, they have got used to these foreign words as if it is their own language.

And in the Arabic language here in the Gulf there are a lot of Indian words mixed with our language, because we have a lot of Indians living here, we adopted words from them too. One good example is our currency for the coins, here in Bahrain it is fils but we say rupee, though rupee is the Indian currency.

By the way, our currency for the notes are called Bahraini Dinar.

Crap

2009-03-05T11:05:00.005Z

Hey everyone,
I didn't write for a week now, so I thought I will fill you in on what happened.

My week was crap.

Seriously now that I think of it, it sounds like a movie Jim Carry starred in. So, I found an agent for my friend and I, who would help us in sending off our UK university applications. So far so good. Then we ran so late, that we missed our appointment since we had to take my little brother to class. So we got another appointment the next day. OK, so we went and took 5 application forms for 5 universities which are Exeter University, Loughborough College, Reading University, Brunnel, Leeds Metropolitan and University of Sheffield. I would really love to get in either Exeter or Loughborough. Anyway, we also need a personal statement and 2 reference letters to send of the applications. To get the reference letters in English was mega difficult.

Now to top it all of, I was bitten by a mosquito 3 times, one on my right hand, the second on my left hand and the third which is the worst was really close to my left eye. Mosquito bites, not a big deal right! Well, it is to me because I am allergic to them. So my eye swelled so bad, I couldn't even open it. OK, I am also almost blind, I can't see without my contact lenses or my glasses. Since my eye is really bad I couldn't wear contact lenses naturally, and my glasses, well they are in Germany on an extend holiday because I forgot them there in February when I was last there. So I walked around not seeing anything. The whole thing matched the movie I saw the day before which is called "Blind dating", and by the way, the guy is actually blind, that's why it is called "Blind Dating". Anyway, I couldn't go to school for 2 days, sounds cool right? "Too cool for school". Well, no it wasn't cool, because I missed on the first day the English writing competition that I was meant to participate in. On the second day I missed the sports competition that I was also meant to participate in. Lets see what my teachers will tell me on Sunday.

Oh right another thing, I had to go to the doctor. That sounds normal right, well to me it isn't. I don't go to the doctor, I had fever more than once and my temperature was 40 and I didn't go to the doctor. I just hate doctors, I know it is an important job. I am grateful to what they are doing for the rest of the world, but as for me I like to stay away from them.

One of my best friends, she is going to study medicine in September to become a doctor. She gets really annoyed about my rejection to doctors. Every time the subject comes up, there is a long preach, ugh. But this time I had to go to the doctor because I need the paper for school that says I was sick or there will be some serious consequences because they think everyone who isn't at school is ditching.

I had lots of time to spare since I couldn't do much, so I stayed in bed for most of the time, listening to the Twilight audio book. I know so many lines by heart already because I read the book quite a few times now. But what could I do.

Nice week ha?

So I'm overly excited about university, even though University starts in 6 months. Well, I'm already wearing my London sweat-shirt, it is way too big but I love it. And when I am not wearing it, my chair is wearing it ;)

Thoughts of Today

2009-02-21T10:55:00.010Z

Last night we had a family movie night. It was fun, but there was one problem. It drives me crazy when my brother/sister or dad are talking while we are watching the movie. I always feel like I'm going to miss an important part.

One movie I totally didn't mind that they were talking in, was James Bond "Quantum of the Solace", it was sooooo boring, I didn't think there was any story in the first place, only a bunch of people fighting and killing each other. The only good thing about it is the song "Another Way To Die" by Jack White and Alicia Keys. I love it, it's great and the beat is fun, full of Action. The bond movie before that, "Casino Royal" was really good. I enjoyed watching it.

Well, my best friend and I want to go to study abroad, either to Australia or to the UK. Since we are from an Arab country we need to take IELTS "International English Language Testing System", the minimum mark is 5.5 out of 9 and we also have to do a foundation year before we can enroll at a University. I already did the IELTS test and I scored a high mark so I'm set, I just have to send off my applications. My best friend is doing hers today. I hope she gets the mark required. We really want to go together. It has been our dream to study abroad together for the past 2 years. I really hope we can, that would be a blast.We are going to send off our applications in the next few weeks. I'll keep you posted.

More and more Arabs are going to study abroad. Mostly guys, but the girls are catching up. Last year I saw something that I still think of whenever I go to the air-port or I'm working on my plans to study abroad. I saw this girl at the airport, she was hugging her parents and she was crying really badly. I heard her mom telling her to take care of herself and work hard at university, while she was crying even harder than her daughter. It was heart-breaking and cute at the same time. I remember that I turned around and looked at my mom and said "I want to study abroad but when I'm leaving you're not allowed to cry".

I hope I didn't give you the wrong impression that I'm too weak to study abroad or that I'm such a baby. I really want to go to study abroad, and I know that I'm strong enough and I can take care of myself. The thing is that here (Bahrain or the Arab countries in general) kids are stuck to their parents, not because they want to but because they have to. For example, there is no way to go out unless your parents take you, because here we teens can't just take a cab, bus or train (we don't have trains) and just simply go, it's just not done here. So you see, until we are 18 years old, we're pretty much stuck and dependent on our parents. So to study abroad is harder for us, because everything is new, I mean with everything really absolutely everything, even cleaning, households here have maids who do this. So studying abroad is a chance for us (my best friend and I ) to really grow up.

Small Talk = Pain

2009-02-17T18:54:00.005Z

Today was my first day back at school for the second semester. It was OK, I guess. My class mates are planning to make this last semester of school worth remembering, so their be lots of misbehaving.

Today I was forced to do one of the top 10 ten things that I hate, forced small talk. It's really weird either I'm talking with some body like there is no tomorrow (my best friend has to shut me up sometimes), or I am forced into some lame small talk. I hate it when you stand in front of somebody and your brain is working like in the ER to think of something to say that doesn't sound just stupid but in the end it does anyway. Well, today was one of those days, some of the people at my school I barely know, we met at a workshop or something like that, it's really embarrassing, I remember their faces but not their names. So I meet on the way to class some girl I was with in something, no idea what anymore, and both of us think it is rude not to say hi, so this is how the conversation goes:

"Hey"
"Hey"
"How are you?"
"Good and you?"
"I'm fine, umm how was your holiday?"
"Good, good and yours?"
"Yea, it was nice."
Silence.
"Ummm, OK then, bye"
"Bye"

That's painful don't you think? Just to read it is.
I hate small talk.
And by the way, there are books that teach you the fine art of small talk. huh?

Driving and the big V

2009-02-13T20:40:00.006Z

Yesterday afternoon my mom, dad and I where talking about where I should do my driving license here (Bahrain) or in Germany, when I visit my grandparents this summer. The problem is that if I get my driving license here I can't drive in Europe, and when I get an international driving license I would have to pay 3 times the Price for insurance. Another problem is that it is so difficult to find a driving instructor here, it's almost impossible, there are just too many people. The good thing about getting the license here is that it is cheap, fast and there is no theory part. But getting the license in Germany (which both my parents would prefer), I can drive anywhere with no problems. The thing is that there is a theory part, it takes a long time and it is expensive.

Well, we really got into the driving thing so, my dad, sis and I went to the desert and my dad let us drive there. Just so you all know I'm 17 and my sis is 14. Yep, our legal guardian in other words "dad" encouraged us to do illegal things. No, really it's safe and there is no one. Anyway, the first time I drove was when I was 13, but today it is my sisters first time driving. It's fun and once you get the feel of it's really easy.

There is no use of having a driving license when the person doesn't drive a car, so this is the car of my dreams in black though, I have a thing for black cars, I think it looks elegant. Hmmmm, a Mercedes, a girl can dream aye?

Wait a minute, it is Valentines day today. I totally forgot. In all shopping malls you can find red hearts and loads of other cheesy things. It is kind of celebrated here, because from a religious view it isn't well religious. But anyway people celebrated here too, if you were wondering. Plus there will be a lot of cheesy movies tonight, that's going to be funny.

Arab Girl Back On Arab Land

2009-02-12T20:23:00.011Z

Hey everyone,

I really missed this blog and the Internet since my grandparents don't have Internet, ugh.
Well yesterday my sis and I came back from Germany from a tiny village called Gartow, normally I don't really like going there much because its a small village and there isn't a lot to do, adding to that we don't know anyone there. But this time the trip was a lot more interesting. This time, I actually wanted to go because I met some Germans in the UNESCO workshop in Oman who live in the same area where my grandparents live and we got along really well, so I wanted to see them again plus my little sis wanted to see snow (rain and snow are really a big thing here). So we booked, packed and got on the plane. It turned out that I packed way too many things as usual, I always say I will only pack what I really need but I always end up taking way too much. Extra weight for nothing. Well, we got to Germany and the first two days I was in bed sick with the flu, lucky me. After that I spent my time riding the bike (which I really love because nobody rides a bike here above the age of 12 and it is way too hot anyway), walking around since the weather was nice, eating (a lot of eating, I ate ice-cream all the time though it's cold), reading (before I went to Germany I ordered books from amazon) and checking out all places that sell toys or might sell toys because I wouldn't dare come back home without a gift for my little brother, he would kick me out. He wanted a toy called "SOS Monkey Alarm", yes I am serious, the problem was none of the shops had this toy, no wonder. So we had to take a play mobile police station that took half of my suit-case. I was also the cook while I was there, I used to hate cooking but now I kind of like it. I just shoved some fries in the oven and fried some fish. Easy.

I was invited to visit the school, which the girls that I met in Oman go to. It was really interesting. To be honest I was really worried they would think of me as a terrorist or God knows what, but I was really surprised they were all really nice and they didn't even stare, which was new to me since I'm used to being stared at in Germany. The trick is to think that everyone is staring because you are a big Hollywood star ;) no, just joking. They didn't make me feel weird at all. It was a really interesting experience since I didn't know any people around my age in Germany but I know German people around my age who don't live in Germany, freakish ha!!! I was asked a lot of questions too, questions about religion, politics, Bahrain and some teen stuff.

Anyway, I find the school there a lot more interesting than here. The topics there are a lot more comprehensive and some topics we don't even take which is sad, because I found them really interesting. What I like most is that it is very conversational and the atmosphere is easy. When in our class rooms it is "shut up and listen" and very tense. It felt like they have so many breaks, they should apply that to our school too.

The flight back was really interesting too, the first thing was that I saw the Bahrain royal family's plane and then in Istanbul which is where we stayed for 4 hours transit the police came in our plane and took out a lady in hand-cuffs and she was yelling really badly. It was a trip full off action. Oh the the Captain stopped my sis and I for small talk!!

My sis and I in boots, ugh I have huge feet :( I would show you more pictures if they weren't so embarrassing and silly ;P

P.S: People do you realise what day it is today??? Friday the 13th, mwahahaha. This means they will put scary movies on TV ;P

Off to Germany for 10 Days

2009-01-29T16:13:00.002Z

So the tittle says it, I'm going tonight, technically it is tomorrow morning at 3 am to Germany. In 2 hours I'm leaving for the air port and I can't go without saying bye. I enjoy the air port part of travelling and I don't like planes at all, it's kind of boring. In air ports I spend my time with my "hobby," which I inherited from my mom, which she inherited from her mom (my grandmother).
We enjoy sitting in air ports and look at all kinds of people that pass us by and make up a story (life) to the person we see. Some are interesting because of their expressions or presence and others are interesting because it is hard to make a story for the person I see. Another thing I like about the air port is the duty free, especially the books part. But the best thing about air ports is that there is no difference between day or night, it is always the same ,busy and full of life. When I was younger around ten I think, I used to want to work in the air port because for that reason, I never thought in detail about what I wanted to do there, I just wanted to see the busy life there.

I hate planes because the seats are so narrow. I fall asleep and when I wake up my neck and back are killing me so I get a taste of how it will be when I get older ,but my sister will suffer the most because she is my pillow. Another thing that bothers I guess most people is the pressure on the ear, but for everyone who didn't know, chewing gum helps really. But the most annoying thing is the toilets, the flash sound is like it is sucking people from this world to another, ugh.

But you know what, I love traveling because of all this, good and bad.

Well, yesterday we finished our exams and I have a good feeling about them so my friends and I decided to go out after two weeks being locked up in our rooms studying. We went to a movie called "Slumdog millionaire", I think a lot of people heard of it and maybe even saw it. It is really worth it. It's an Indian movie but not really in the Indian style because all Indian movies have to have A LOT of dancing in them which is fun, but a little cheesy and some dancing should be forbidden for men. No offence, but seriously no, I am saying that because I'm nice.

Anyway I won't be able to write for a few days because my grandparents don't have Internet, yep it's hard to believe in this age, but they don't. It's good for me, it's like rehab without Internet.

So bye in English, tschuess in German and مع السلامه in Arabic.
See you soon.

Dear Diary

2009-01-20T11:45:00.006Z

Since this is sort of my diary and in diaries people normally talk about their lives. So I thought I'll show how my life looked like for the past two weeks.

Yep, that is how I spent the hours the past few days stuck at that desk studying while the mess around me is growing, not to give a dramatic picture but because of my laziness. I will have 4 days holiday starting tomorrow to study for the economics exam so I'll tidy up.

Yesterday it's bye George Bush and hello Barack Obama. There are so many videos making fun of George Bush's way of talking. In one video it says "do you speak American or do you speak Bush?" There are some sites about the funny things he said. One was: "I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office." Wow there is some action going on in there. Another thing I read was "Wait a minute. What did you just say? You're predicting $4-a-gallon gas.... That's interesting. I hadn't heard that." Maybe they should add on the list of requirements to be a president to undertake a Ielts, TOEFL or Sat language exam.

9 Days, 10 Years

2009-01-18T19:59:00.007Z

It has been 9 days since I added new posts. I was busy with exams and still am till the 28th. I have come to the conclusion that I don't like to study the subjects where I have to memorize the whole book and copy paste it on paper, in a few weeks I won't remember them anyway. I like subjects that are based on logic and understanding. It's more fun to study.

Today we had math, for the first time the exam was really easy. I got 4 exams over with and 5 to go. In between each exams we have 1 and up to 5 days holiday to study for, it depends on the difficulty of the subject. I hate this system. It feels like there is no end in sight. They should just put them all after each other and get it over with.

Well, at least my sis and I have something to look forward to because on the 30th we are going to Germany to visit our grandparents and some friends I met in a workshop in Oman. I need to go to Oman to meet some Germans, ironic huh? Plus my sis wants to see snow, she did before but it was really light so by afternoon it was gone. 4 years ago I went to Austria and the snow was so much that it was taller than me on the side-walk. Gosh it is already 4 years ago. When I was younger I used to laugh at my mom and dad when they say this is my friend, we used to go to work together 10 years ago. It sounded so strange because 10 years is my whole life. A few days ago I met my friend who was with me in 2nd grade. So my friend was saying do you know her and I was like "yeah, she was in my class 10 years ago". I guess I reached the age to say that.

Other than studying , the whole house has been watching the news about the war in Gaza. Since we have both the Arabic and German TV channels, we could see the difference in reporting what is going on. The Arabic TV shows pictures of what is going on there, most pictures are very horrofiying that bring trears to your eyes, while the German channels show only a few pictures that don't show much and can not help us create a fair opinion. This is a reason why both sides come to different conclusions about this war.

Taking Refuge in the Bath Tub

2009-01-09T10:50:00.002Z

Today I watched a few sketch videos on YouTube, I loved it. I watched some that are really funny, one was about a friend who is really annoying and wouldn't let his friends sleep, this video has over 8 million views. This reminded me of my friends and me two years ago, we went to Germany for ten days. In those ten days we hardly ever slept. Well, what would anyone expect when three friends sleep in one room as a sleepover that goes on for ten days, so after 6 days my batteries were really low and I needed some sleep. My friends had no mercy on me (ha ha I hope you two read this). It was two am or around that time, as in really late, and I just wanted to sleep beofre the grumpiness starts. So I asked very nicely if they would please just shut up and let me sleep. My friends now had a new reason to keep talking and laughing with all lights on to annoy me. So after a painful hour of exposing myslef to my annoying friends who are having lots of fun ticking me off, you are very welcome by the way though it was on my expense, I moved to the bathroom with my pillow and sheets and seriously intended to sleep in the tub. It is quite comfortable in tub, I really mean it. My friends came in and I prtended to be asleep so they would leave me alone, all I was asking for is sleep, it turned out I was asking for too much. Anyway, one of my friends spread shampoo on my arm and the other turned on the water. So I moved back with them to hell (aka bedroom) and ended up not sleeping. I can not say I didn't try. Good times. Good times.

Anyway, At the moment I have my first term exams or semester as the americans would say. Since it is my last year I have to get really good marks, so I'll be busy studying. After the second term exams (final exams) which means I will graduate this year from school. :) Our 12th grade marks are in the newspaper. Even my sister who is in the 9th grade her mark is going to be in the newpaper. All 19th graders and 9th graders are going to be exposed because we are the high school and junior high seniors.

I love the Australian accecnt by the way, though it is the most difficult one for us to understand.

History Is Not A Sleeping Pill

2009-01-02T10:33:00.002Z

A late Happy New Year to all. Finally 2009 is here, I've been waiting for this year 2 years, it sounds unfair to 2007 and 2008 but this year is my last year of school and in September this year I will start university hopefully abroad. I am the opposite of home-sick which is away-sick.

Yesterday, I went to a lecture a British man gave about some research he did. It was about what is going on in Gaza. He laid in front of us some charts about the death rates of Palestinian and Israeli people where the Palestinian are a head of the Israeli's in thousands of people. Also I remember him saying that Israel has been targeted 65 UN resolutions and the Palestinians have been targeted by none. He mentioned a lot more things. When Jews and Muslims are brothers in the book, we worship the same God.I sat there looking at charts and statistics I have never heard or seen, why? The German news has a special sections for celebrities, in it they mention things like: what this celebrity wore or who that celebrity is sceretly dating? I must admit I watch it sometimes because it is entertaining, but if that is really news this is questionable.

The information is not secret or can not be found, it is there and everyone can see for themselves, but it is ignored. I had to check and see for myself because I could not imagine that all this is happening and nothing is done about it. I think it is just my juvenile belief that we are living in a wonderful world. Well, I did my own research and sat there at my desk shaking my head. I still have no words to express how I felt. If you want to see for yourselves check this website: www.ifamericansknew.com, I think the website is not named right, it should be if humanity knew.

Yesterday I realized even more than before how interesting history is. I wish at school the teachers would make it more interesting, I wonder how they can change history to a sleeping pill. I really have trouble fighting sleep in history class. I hope my teacher doesn't read this.

My Father Abu Mariam

2008-12-31T11:00:00.009Z

Yesterday, thousands of people met in the Capital Manama to remember the cruel martyrdm of Imam Husain, his family and companions. It is very nice to see so many people gathering for the same reason. Yesterday hundreds of people men and woman including my best friend and I stood on the street whispering prayers for the poor and sick, all whispers put togeher it was strong, the atmosphere was simply beautiful.

The nights start of lectures about religion and remembering the story of Karbala. Then the men go out of the streets to show that they haven't forgotten what happened. This goes on till 4 am in the morning. Men, woman, boys, girls of all ages are roaming the streets for one cause, it's refreshing in contrast to the many wars and fighting all over the world. Horror movies are shown on TV at the moment 24/7, and I hate horror movies.

Well, a different topic which is more pleasant. Yesterday, while going around on the streets I heard people calling each other "mother of Ahemd" here and "father of Sarah" there. It came to my mind to share with you an Arab custom. Arabs call the mothers and fathers as to the name of their first born, if the first born was a boy the name for the parents doesn't change ever, but if it was a girl and then they had a boy later they would be called after him. This is not because the Arabs are sexist but in the time of my grandparents girls are considered so precious that they even keep her names safe. Now that is nonsense but it is an old custom that is kept. For example, Husain and Fatima got a baby called Ali, they would be called "mother of Ali and father of Ali" in Arabic it would sound like this "Um Ail" for the mother and "Abu Ali" for the father. Their real names are still used of course but here it makes the parents proud to be called by their child's name.

My mom and dad are called "Um Mariam and Abu Mariam" because I am the first born, even though I have a younger brother. When my brother was born people started calling my parents by my brother, who is called Ahmed by the way, but they wouldn't respond as my parents thought they were calling someone different since they got used to be called after me for 8 years, so the people got back to calling them by my name. 1:0 for me against my brother. He he he.

I'm Back

2008-12-30T10:45:00.002Z

Sorry I haven’t written for a few days but we had once again internet problems, this is quiet frustrating but it was like rehab. Getting away of the internet meant more reading and going out with the family. I finally got around to tidying my room which should please my mother.

So Christmas is over. I had an unofficial Christmas holiday too. We finished all our study books and all we senior years are staying at home to “Study”, this is what most of us should be doing. Our final exams start on the 11 of January, so I am on an unofficial holiday till then.

Today is the “Hijri” Islamic New Year. It is the year 1430. It sounds cool like living in the past, it has something to it. Today is the First of Muharram which is a very important month for the lovers of Prophet and his family. This month is so important because in the beginning of this month around 1400 years ago the grandson of Prophet Mohammed (Peace be upon him and his family) and his family and friends were terribly murdered for not obeying a ruler who was unjust, oppressive and to top off ignoring Islamic principles. The massacre that happened in the land of Karbala in Iraq was beyond words to describe. Those ten days are lived in memory of what happened and teaching people lessons of humanity. This time is used to teach people religious philosophy. I will try and upload some pictures later on and share with you some interesting things I have learned.

I bet everyone was watching TV the past few days about Gaza, and looking at what is going on there I ask myself where are those people who claim to defend humanitarian values. I look at these pictures on YouTube and I all I want to do is to cry while some guy posts a comment that says “I enjoy watching all those Arabs die. COOL.” Any person regardless of his/her religion who believe in humanity wouldn’t post such a comment.

Choice

2008-12-24T09:16:00.002Z

Sorry I didn’t post anything for a while but we had some internet connection problems. I realized yesterday that I am an internet addict.

I remembered today a topic we had in religion class two weeks ago. I was thinking about it today so I thought I’ll share my thoughts. I always wondered why we were living if our ending is already decided for us before we even exist.

Some people don’t believe in God because they think that God decided everything for us, in other words we don’t have a choice, because God knows everything before it happens. To believe in this gives us no reason for living. We Muslims believe that we have a tiny part of God’s soul in us that is the reason why we are the only creatures that can make their own choices; this is the human’s side. God on the one hand knows every choice we have and which we will take and to what it will lead and the choices we didn’t take and what would have happened if we did, without interfering. This on the other hand gives us a reason to live because we can be ourselves and make something out of ourselves.

This brings us to another thing to consider, choice is a mixed blessing. Choices can be hard and confusing. Choices mean responsibility.

Ants

2008-12-20T17:26:00.000Z

I love winter because it's cold. One thing I really enjoy is that in the early hours of the day when the sun is not up yet my mom wakes me up for school, everything around me is cold and I am hiding under the covers. I just love the feeling and then I have to get up. Another good thing about winter is that I have my bathroom back; I know this is a very weird thing to say but it's true. Usually I share my bathroom with annoying ants (except for winter). I can do whatever I want and spray all day long, the bathroom is their territory and I should consider myself lucky to use it.

Bahrain is also known as the "mother of one million palm trees" but now all the palm trees are gone and instead we have ants.

When I was younger I remember watching "Ants" with my little sister a lot. All I can say that Disney cartoons made the world a whole lot nicer.

This Week

2008-12-19T12:54:00.003Z

I'm sorry that I haven't written anything for a few days in a row but I was busy with a few things.

On Wednesday we didn't have any lessons at all in school, which pleased all students. We had a national day party at school. Everyone wore red and white jackets, shirts, traditional clothes, caps and head scarf's. Some girls wore red make up and nail polish which is normally not allowed but the teachers just pretended that they hadn't seen it (by the way I go to an all girls school). The girls gave speeches, preformed songs on pianos and guitars and we had some sports activities. The high light was the traditional dance that the girls preformed, this dance includes both men and woman, since men are not allowed some girls wore the Arabic traditional clothes and drew beards on their faces it was so funny, my friends and I laughed our heads off. The funniest part was that the girls wearing boy clothes were acting like boys and the girls were treating them like real boys. The best part of a national day is that we get 2 days holiday.

Yesterday my best friend, my younger sister and I went to watch Twilight the movie. I read the book first and kept talking about it till my sis read it and then she also got on the twilight train. My best friend was curious about the movie since I was talking about the story so much. The story is a series of four books which I read all but the best book is the first followed by the second. To my surprise the movie is not such a disappointment and failure as most books turned into movies. The movie was actually satisfying. Check the books and the movie out if you don't already know them. I'm looking forward to the second movie "New Moon".

A picture of Edward and Bella in Twilight.

Holly Cannoli

2008-12-14T18:09:00.004Z

I took a shower at school today, and I have to add that it was not by my free will. My classmates where decorating the class for the National Day of Bahrain on the 16th of December. Our class is full of flags, signs and balloons. Well, the girls started filling the balloons with water and tossing them around in class, after a while the girls got confident that the balloons wouldn't break, hehehe yea right. Just my luck one girl wanted to prove that the balloon doesn't break and threw it in my direction; the balloon decided to give me the honor and exploded at my feet. My school uniform was soaking wet. It was pretty much a crazy day at school today and I ended up with a new favorite word which is "Holly Cannoli".

Tomorrow we have a party at school for the National Day. On Tuesday and Wednesday we have a holiday. The 17th of December is the Crowning Day. Bahrain has become a kingdom in 2002.

My friend came up to me very excited today because she discovered that there is a fencing club here in Bahrain, she was talking about it all day and she is going to join. I am going to see one training session just out of curiosity. It is really nice that more and more girls get involved in sports around here, even some tough sports. The same friend and I used to do Taekwondo for 4 years, which is a martial art. She has the First Black Belt and I got the second. The highest black belt is the 10th. At the beginning lots of people didn't think it is an appropriate sport for girls so there were very few girls. My friend and I started to work ourselves up with the belts and more and more girls got interested to join on the condition that girls teach them. So at the age of 15 and my friend at the age of 14 we started to teach the girls Taekwondo for 3 days a week and the rest of the week we had to learn from the guys. Unfortunately, our group of girls left for college or got busy with studying so we left which is such a pity. I think that a lot of things are new here and it is difficult to accept some new things. It is a matter of daring to start and make something new.

Life Views

2008-12-12T18:21:00.001Z

Yesterday I met a few old classmates of mine; we used to be in the same class six years ago. It was so weird to see them so grown up. Three of them want to study medicine next year, and two want to study business including me. We used to be really good friends when we were 11 years old. It is easy to be friends with anyone at that age or at least it was for me. Now it is sort of difficult especially because of the different "thinking" groups for girls that have now formed because of education and the media. The first group is the more traditional group (I am pressing the word tradition not religion). This group is satisfied with high school education followed by marriage and after that taking care of their children. The role of a mom is also a job, actually it's a full time job which is very important by all means for our future and should never be taken lightly. The second group is the "basic" traditional group, who study at university in Bahrain and get married while studying, after graduation they start working, later have children who are raised by maids or grandmothers. The third group is the "free thinking" group, that’s how they are called here. This group is not so easily satisfied, they want to leave their homes, study abroad, see the world and focus on a career. Marriage and children come later for the members of this group. This group is seen as the rebels.

Because of the different ways of thinking nowadays there are times when there are clashes and a lot of disagreeing, it is hard to mix those groups together.

If you read carefully, children are mentioned in all groups. Still no matter how people are clinging to their traditions, in the end the basic things they agree on. For example children, they are pretty much a must, since it is a part of being a woman. Having children here is seen as being a good woman, a good wife and a symbol of having a full life.

On the Day of Eid

2008-12-11T13:39:00.001Z

My Eid was ……. Like always nothing new. We all woke up kind of early then had breakfast. After that we, my sis and I, had to take very short showers because we have little warm water in the winter. Yes it sucks, but we don't need the same heaters like in Europe because our summer is really long and we have a lot of hot water. It is so hot that it is impossible to take a shower at noon or you'll burn yourself, you could use it as "already'" boiled water for tea if it wasn't salty.

Well, after a very unpleasant shower with cold water because my sis used up all the hot water, we wore our new clothes. It took 2 hours, hehehe, my dad enjoyed every minute waiting.
The whole family met at my grandparent's house, after kissing and hugging the whole family, much to my annoyance, the men started joking about having second and third wives, but after the glares of their wives none of them had the guts to finish so they changed to talking about business, which is a very safe subject. That was too boring for the ladies plus some male visitors came so we went into the ladies sitting room.

We had lunch, for your information the food wasn't that good, well it hasn't been good for the past 10 years, but no one wants to change the caterer because they don't know any other, because the actual reason is that no one wants to cook for around 50 people.
Yea, but we all have to get together for various reasons.
1) Because we get a lot more "Eidiiya". "Eidya" are the little amount of money the kids and teens get from their relatives.
2) Because it is a good memory game for us to remember all the names.
3) Because it is nice to see how the kids grew up and what happened to the teens.
4) Because we have a place to show off our new clothes.
5) Because it is like living in the movie called "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" which is a great movie by the way.

After lunch we moved to some small talk here and there or chated about who was wearing what till 7 pm and then the families headed out home or to eat out for dinner and then left the cleaning up for the poor maids. But the maids get "Eidiya" too, so the like Eid.

It is Supposed To Be Eid

2008-12-08T20:14:00.000Z

My Eid? Well, I'll tell you how I spent my Eid. I went to Saudi Arabia again and finished sticking wallpaper on the walls for 5 hours. Yep, that’s how to spend a vacation. The good news is that it looks great.

The reason why I didn't spend Eid like the rest of the Islamic world is because some people here believe that Eid is tomorrow, it is very hard to decide when the Hijri year "Islamic year" starts because it is decided by the appearance of the moon. So the big family lunch is going to be tomorrow and I will tell you how it went.

After the hard work we wanted to get back to Bahrain so we filled the tank full with patrol for 2 Dinars and 5 hundred fills which equals 4.50 Euros. Yep, hahahaha unbelievable but it's true. In Germany my grandfather fills the car with patrol for 80 Euros that’s unbelievable here.

At the end, there was a sort of Eid dinner with my family in a restaurant with Iranian food, it was really tasty. I like Iranian, Turkish and Lebanese food most. If you never tried you should because if you don't your really missing out on something.

Girls sticking wallpaper in a Saudi office

2008-12-06T07:09:00.007Z

At 8:30 pm in the morning my mom and dad woke me up. It's Friday morning (it's like Saturday morning in Europe or the US) and I went to bed really late the night before because my friends and I had a girl's night. Well, I was woken up from my very much needed sleep so we went go to Saudi Arabia. It had to be so early because if you leave too late to Saudi Arabia by crossing the bridge, you'll get stuck and it takes hours.

In 1 hour we were in Khobar, a city in Saudi Arabia, just on the other side of the bridge. From 12:30 pm till 5pm we (which is my dad, my sister and I) were sticking the wall paper on the wall in my dad's office there, I wouldn't be allowed to do so otherwise. Women don't work such things over there. However, women are allowed to work in offices nowadays in Saudi Arabia.

The before picture.

The after picture.

It wasn't easy.

I hate plugs.

We were so hungry after all the work but at prayer times in Saudi Arabia the shops, restaurants, etc are all closed. We were done at five which is right on time with the prayer time so we had to wait till prayer time is over and went to eat at Chili's. By the way there Salmon fish is to die for. In Saudi Arabia, also in Bahrain, you can find all the big American fast food chains like Chili's, Pizza Hut, Fridays, Costa, Starbucks, etc…

Life Style

2008-12-03T19:10:00.001Z

Today my classmates were talking about what they are most impressed by of what the other teens our age do in Europe. Well, it turns out that they are most impressed by kids in other countries that move out when they are about around 18 years of age. But I don't think that the teens here realize the responsibilities they would load on themselves nor do they have the independence to do so, because the people here are used to have maids that do everything for them, cleaning, washing, cooking, ironing, tiding the rooms, etc. They are used to a lot of privileges but this means that they don't get to learn some important things.

Almost all the houses have maids since the salary is BD 50 only which equals 100 Euros per month with no holidays. Yes, it is cruel and I don't agree with it but the contracts here are that way. But there have been a lot of changes lately and I think this whole thing is going to change soon.

Most maids come here from Indonesia, Sir Lanka, Philippines, India, etc. They are very young and undedicated. They come here to feed their families. Most carry along with them very sad stories.

I think that people here take their comfort for granted. Maybe they should get their own place at 18 so they understand the value of what they have. I bet they all move back to hotel mama with the maid in one month tops.

But I guess that this is one of the reasons why I want to study abroad.

Cold, Hot, Long, Short

2008-12-02T16:32:00.002Z

The weather is getting colder, it's not cold yet though, it's around 18c. People are starting to wear coats and jackets, because there is a difference between 18c in the winter and 48c in the summer, obviously.

Two friends of mine and I went to Germany in the winter break when we were 15 years old. It is not normal that three 15 year old Bahraini girls travel all alone to Europe, but we did it. We had so much fun. My friends came back with so much new impressions. One of them was the effect of the different time setting during seasons, which is something no one thought of here, because it just doesn't exist. For example, the summer days in Germany are so long, the sun goes down at around 10pm. It is so different and new that it already sounds funny to them. In Bahrain the day's length in summer and in winter aren't much different.

This year in school we were taught that in some countries the time is reset in the summer and winter. My class-mates found this really weird.

Festive Seasons = Shopping Seasons

2008-12-01T19:30:00.003Z

Shopping, shopping, shopping, everyone is shopping. Mall and shop owners are really happy at the moment. People shop either for Christmas or here in the Arab countries for Eid. In other words Eid is our Christmas. In Eid everyone buys a whole new outfit, everyone wears new clothes. Girls love this season here. In Eid people visit their families. Now let's define family, it means grandparents and their 15 kids and each has like another 3 to 6 kids. We don't have presents but we get money of every uncle, aunt and the rest of the whole lot, not a lot of money but having a huge family makes little + little + little = a lot. So the whole family has lunch together and later groups depart to go out, to the malls, parks or the cinema. Kids spend the money they get right away. So going out on Eid day is crazy and the 2 days after that are holidays too so it is also crazy to go out on those days. Imagine the whole country is out and about. But we all don't seem to learn much since every Eid we go out again. Well, I'll let you know how my Eid went. Eid is next week.

Today we got measured for our graduation robes. School is soon over.

Today I saw a natural smiley face, it wasn’t yellow and it didn't have eyes nor a smiling dace. The moon in a shape like this ) and two stars on top. It was a lovely picture that the camera unfortunately couldn't take. Ugh.

Thoughts Of Today

2008-11-30T16:17:00.002Z

Women's level and importance, I was wondering about how it was in the past or in a few places nowadays. It came up because I am reading a book where the story is set in 1600 in England. Even in a lot of movies such as Atonement or Pride & Prejudice, which are both interesting movies by the way, it can be seen that woman anywhere in the world such as England, France or even in the Arabic countries are expected to have impeccable manners, who speak when spoken to, who do what they are told to and say what they are told to. In other words, no thinking required. I am not talking about now because things have changed even though the change took a lot of time, which also happened in the Arabic countries, though in some cultures it is still not gone while a lot of other things that shouldn't are gone. But I have been wondering how it came to this in the first place, since we are not stupid and not weak? No need to mention everything that woman are capable of, it is crystal clear ;)

By the way I like the dress of the 17th century, princess style, elegant and fancy. And the Victorian houses are beautiful; that would be my dream house. It is not all bad living at that time, we must give them some credit.

I have taken the IELTS (International English Language Testing System), because it is required for university that is only eight months ahead of me. In the writing part of the test the question was who are better leader's men or woman? That was a very unfair question especially if you had to write a paragraph of 200 words in 30 minutes about this topic in particular. Since my opinion is that we need both men and woman and that both have important roles. And when it comes to leadership I believe it has more to do with character than gender so I "the blabber mouth" didn't have time to say what I had to say about this topic. Anyway my lowest mark was writing not that I didn't expect it, but still the way I write will do for university ;-)

Back to the Victorian buildings, I'd love to stay in an old Victorian style building at university, it will be the first time I'll live all by myself. Victorian Buildings, dreaming costs nothing.

Right now I am reading a book called A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray. Well the title didn't really catch me but I read the review since it was on the shelf of the bestsellers, so it can't be that bad right? Well not at all, it's actually really good so far. That much to the topic never pass your judgment on how things appear. I read a line that caught me which is "Because I want to see how far I can go before I have to stop". I'll leave you to make your own thoughts on this one.

Update on Saudi Arabia

2008-11-29T08:27:00.001Z

Yesterday I went on day trip to Saudi with my family. Saudi is properly known as the shut down society where nothing is allowed. Well, this update is about books and movies. Saudi doesn't have any cinemas but that doesn’t matter much because its one hour away from Bahrain from some parts in Saudi where they can go to the cinema. Saudi has a lot of really nice TV channels where the Arab world gets to see all the American talk shows, soap operas and reality shows, but all the so called dangerous scenes as they are called here also know as romantic scenes are cut. But yesterday I discovered that they sell all kinds of DVDs that you can find anywhere full "not cut" so the simply can watch them at home. So it doesn't really make any difference but at home you can do whatever you like. I also went to the book section where I surprisingly found all kinds of romantic books and the covers show that their romantic books, but still there where in shelves next to all other books. I must add that even me as an Arab I was surprised to see that.

Chaos

2008-11-27T19:32:00.001Z

Since my day has been so chaotic, the topic for today is chaos.

Bahrain is a tiny island; it is 665 km² which means it takes you around 5 minutes to get to school, work, malls, or a friend's house, which is great. But Bahrain is so tiny that there is very little space. Each house has around 3 cars on average and some even more. In our street alone which has 8 houses there are 25 cars. Now imagine the streets in Bahrain. So instead of taking 5 minutes you need half an hour to reach your destination.

The traffic chaos is national specific.

Well, I'm going to be 18 in September and I can start learning for my license in July which means one more person to add on the streets. And I am not the only person who is turning 18. Maybe I should consider getting a bike.

This Is How It Goes

2008-11-26T16:46:00.001Z

Well, what do girls do when they have a free period at school, even the Arab girls, they talk about boys. So I thought I'll explain the game rules today.

In Europe kids have boyfriends/girlfriends around 13 or 14. The Arab young adults get married at 20, some one or two years younger.

A lot of people still think that Arab girls are forced into a marriage they do not want. In my class there are two engaged girls, but they're 2 years older so they're 19, they are so happy that they're getting married after they're done with school and it's all they talk about. I'd rather study, see the world and work before I settle down but everyone should live their life the way they want it.

As for Bahrain it is a nice thing to get married young, it's customary. It is difficult to explain but it is somehow like everyone in Europe wants to be tanned, but here they want to be married.
The tradition, not religion, of the bride and groom not seeing each other until after the wedding is outdated. But still there are right ways to get to know each other and there are wrong ways.
Well, way number one is: seeing each other at university, work, etc… then the guy proposes to the family and they live happily ever after. The End.

Way number two is: what if prince charming doesn't find his princess by using method number one then he dates but we call them interviews with possible candidates at her house or in a restaurant but with company, mostly the sisters of the girl. The guy can choose the girl he likes and can go on another few dates so that they can get to know each other. And who arranges those interviews? Well, its mom's blind dating business.

See it's not that different here but definitely a lot more funny.

Different Worlds With Different Languages

2008-11-25T15:21:00.004Z

I speak, read and write Arabic and English and I can speak and read German which is my second language. What I'm really annoyed of is that my German writing is very poor. The real problem is that I see the letters in English since I am learning English at school and never studied the German language, which makes it very difficult for me to write in German. I taught myself how to read which was ok since I only had to shoot a glance at the word and then check my memory to the words I heard or said.

Once I've been asked a very interesting question, which I keep wondering about till this very day is "In what language to you think and dream?" and I am so sorry to say that I don't know. I wish I had an answer to it.

This is one type of the Arabic writing.

This is how an Arabic keyboard looks like.

The latest news of the Islamic world: As the Western world is preparing for Christmas, the Islamic world is preparing for the Hadj. That’s the pilgrimage to Mecca. People are gathering in and around Mecca to start Hadj which starts on the first of "Thee Alhudja" and this is the last month in the Hijra year.

These are the name of the Islamic months in order:
Muharram
Safar
Rabi' Al-Awwal
Rabi' Al-thani
Jumada Al-awwal
Jumada Al-thani
Rajab
Sha'aban
Ramadan
Shawwal
Dhu Al-Qidha
Dhu Al-Hijjah

No, I'm Not Missing Out

2008-11-24T14:26:00.008Z

In Bahrain people ask me a lot how I behave in Germany or if I take off my Hijab there. It seems like they believe it is necessary to be different if anyone goes over to Europe. Yes, it is different there and it is different here, but somehow I'm kind of the same.

In Germany I get asked a lot if I feel like I am missing out on something, like sports, they always ask about swimming. Well, no I don't. In Islamic countries those matters are adjusted to our way of life. For example, in Bahrain we have the largest water park in the Middle East. Every Thursday night it is ladies night in other words NO MEN. My friends and I went there two months ago while the weather was much hotter like 40c in the shade. We had a lot of fun. We swam, went on all slides and sat on the "fake" beach with music in the background. I bet what you're thinking about is what we are wearing. Well this might surprise some of you, most girls were wearing swim wear or bikinis but some girls were uncomfortable because they are not used to such clothing so they wore shorts and a T-Shirt.

The ladies night starts from 7 pm till 12 am. I love the timing; swimming at night is just a lot more fun. I can say from experience because before I wore the scarf "Hijab" I went to so many water parks in Germany. Plus, it's more suitable for the girls here since they all want to be white just the opposite from the European people they all want to get a tan. Well, we all want what we don't have.

These are some pictures of the water park. If you look closely you can see that the park is in the middle of the desert.

A Matter Of Fashion

2008-11-23T12:42:00.010Z

Workers are building and digging in front of our house, there are setting a new water canal system. Their working from 8 am till 5 pm, their machines are always buzzing, it's really annoying that it's so loud all the time.

Since it is too noisy to stay at our house I decided to flee, so I headed to my cupboard to get dressed to go shopping. And I faced the same problem that probably girls all over the world are facing "What shall I wear today?" It's frustrating and pretty much annoying. So I just short cut the whole process and wore an "Abaya". It’s the black dress that most people know because they saw it on TV. Most people think this is all that Arab girls and woman wear or must wear. Well it's not what we must wear according to our religion, our religion asks us to wear decent covering clothes. It's more of a tradition to wear the Abaya. It is true that some families want their daughters to wear it, but oppression is not behind it, it's because it's common and that people accept it. I would put it like this, right now skinny jeans are fashion and people wear what's fashionable to blend in or to be accepted and the truth is in Arabic countries Abayas right now are very much in fashion. In the Arabic countries there are designers that are specialized in designing beautiful Abayas. Girls right now wear Abyas with lots of glitter and decoration, some are very pretty and you can have them made according to your taste. Plus, in Islamic societies where woman shouldn't attract attention in public because of what they are wearing or what they are not wearing, but they ought to get people's attention for what they are.

I am speaking about myself; my parents give me the freedom of wearing what I like as long as it's decent. I wear jeans and a shirt that is a bit longer and I'm lucky that those shirts are right now in fashion even in the European countries, but Abayas are really practical. You never need to think about putting together an outfit and the best thing that I really enjoy is that I can wear under it anything I want, so I always end up going with my oldest most comfortable pajamas to a really fancy mall.

These are some pictures of the Abayas that are fashionable here.

Once again I'd like to share with you something I read today and I really liked. "Staring at the stars is like staring backward in time, since some stars are so far away that their light takes a millions of years to reach us. That we see the stars not as they look now, but as they were when dinosaurs roomed the earth. The whole concept struck me as amazing somehow." This info struck me also so amazing; I just love the thought of it.

The Image in People's Minds

2008-11-21T23:11:00.008Z

After I'm done with school work or jogging, I normally just want to relax so I do what a lot of other people do around the world which is watching TV or going online. When I'm online I check my mail, go on facebook, read people's blogs or read the news, and if I'm watching TV after I'm done with work which means that my dad is at home and he wants to watch the news so I end up watching the news with him and this is when I get to see and hear everything that’s going on through the media. Since we people get to hear things so often we start to believe them (just like commercials and when we get the product we realize that we have been fooled again) especially if we weren't there and have no idea what's going on and need something to build an idea on in our heads so we use the media to fill the gap. I realized recently how deformed the images are that we have of other people.

Last week I came back from Oman, where an UNESCO workshop of the European-Arab Dialogue was held, named "learning for sustainability in a world of cultural diversity taking responsibility for the future". We discussed topics such as water, biodiversity, thoughts, urbanization, mobility, home, tradition and integration. Tradition and Religion were the most difficult topics as you can imagine. We also ended up with a new topic "media" since it plays such a big role in people's lives and is a big factor on how people think. We formed groups that presented interpretations to the topics mentioned above in different ways such as dance, arts, theatre and film. Students and teachers from different countries such as Germany, Denmark, Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar, Yemen, Morocco, Egypt, Lebanon, Syria, and our host country Oman joined to make this workshop happen. I hope I didn't forget a country. The workshop was great, I learned a lot and got to know a lot of really nice people. We spent time not only working but also talking and getting to know the "others". Working, talking and living with them made us see sides of the people from different cultures and countries we didn't know existed through the media that has formed an image in our heads, but in the short period of time we had I couldn't believe how well we all got along and that we actually are able to communicate. It was impossible to see the other person through the media imposed glasses. We enjoyed our time talking and joking and we also reached at some discussions touchy points but for me it was just to be tolerant and accept others just as I want to be accepted and tolerated. I think we all got along because we could do that.

Some of us girls going crazy.

This is the group at dinner.

Wel, I really hope that more workshops of this kind will be set so more students are able this experience.

Just today I read something in a book that I am reading right now which is related to this topic and I liked it so much so I wanted to share it with you. "To me, that's what traveling is all about. Meeting people, learning to not only appreciate a different culture, but really enjoy it like a local.
It’s a quote of a book called "he Choice"by Nicholas Sparks. He is the same author who wrote "A Walk to Remember" or "The Ntebook" which most people probably know as movies. Some people would say they are cheesy chick flicks but I can't help it, I like them.